Hallo zusammen,

es ist unglaublich, wie schnell die Zeit umgegangen ist. In so zwei Wochen fliege ich einfach schon wieder nach Hause!

Die letzte Zeit war ich ziemlich beschäftigt mit der Danceshow, dem Schreiben von Essays und dem Genießen meiner letzten Zeit. Noch zwei Tage Schule, lernen, Exams schreiben und dann ist mein Schuljahr hier an einer kanadischen Highschool auch schon vorbei. Wir haben heute unsere Yearbooks bekommen, was eine großartige Erinnerung an eine noch bessere Zeit ist. Ich füge hier einfach mal mein Journal über mein Auslandsjahr ein, welches ich für meine Englischklasse geschrieben habe. (Sorry, es ist etwas lang und in Englisch.)

It’s a strange feeling when you are about to leave a place like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are right now at this time and place, because you’ll never be this way again.

~ Azar Nafisi

280 days. 40 weeks. 9 months. That’s the time I have been here. I got to know and love the people, I explored this beautiful island and I started a new life. Four days a week I got up for school and went to my classes. If I think about it I did so many things in this year I thought I would never do and I discovered so many things I want to do one day. It seems like forever ago but I was in the swim team, what means I had to get up early for practise and then go to the pool after school again. I never trained that hard for something and then we finally went to provincial, what made me pretty proud even if I wasn’t the best. But it is not always about being the best, it is more about having fun and that’s how it was. You fight hard and then you have to live with whatever happens. Sometimes you are better than other times but you should never give up. That is what I learned in dance class. At the beginning I felt completely lost. I have been dancing ballet since I can remember and I am good in it. But it seemed impossible to me to do hip-hop. I am trying my best, some days I feel like giving up, but I never did and it may look ridiculous but I start feeling more confident. At the end of the year we had our dance show, I was part of it and it was  so much fun. Our own choreographed dance did not make it, but we fought until the end even after one girl already gave up. We wanted this dance to become perfect but it is not always easy to find time to make this possible. I ended up with two big class pieces and it feels great to dance as part as such a big group. We supported each other and had our own little dance parties back stage while the real show was going on. I think it is not always about being on stage, instead it is more about the little moments.

Then there are all my other classes in school. Maybe it sounds stupid, because I learned Math and Science and other things every normal student would do. But here I realised it is less about the things you actually learn, maybe it is more about the skills you develop. In Germany I never had to write self assessment and at the beginning I hated them, like if I have to do this why don’t I give the mark to myself. But by now I have realised it shows yourself how well you did and if you achieved your goals. It is not that hard to get an A but it’s more important that you’re happy with what you did. Another thing I got to know and love are so many great people at school. It was not always easy and you have to be brave and do the first step. I have never been good in things like this but here I didn’t really have a choice and it felt good after I just did it. I remember my first day in socials class when I went towards those two girls and asked if I could sit with them. At the end we were like eight people at our table and together such a great team. The best friends I made here are probably German, because we went through the same experience, supported each other and without them I have no idea what I would do. They understand me in a way nobody else could and even if we all have such a different life at home, we share this time here together. We are from the same country but met at the other end of the world and that’s crazy. Beside all them my host family plays quite a big role in my life here and they taught me a lot. I am still not that close with them what makes me a bit upset, but we get along well. Nobody can replace your real family I guess. You can find more friends but for me my family just stays my family, who have always been there for me even if I am far away. But in my host family I realised what it means to live together as a family and help each other. My host family here is always busy so I had to help a lot more than I was used to. I try to be a good host daughter but it is not easy; I did mistakes sometimes, they called on me, made me feel bad but then forgave me. I can understand that it is hard if you have a big family and I appreciate much now what my mother at home does every day without complaining.

It is hard to describe and it all happened slowly. But I feel like I made up my mind and changed a lot in this year. Maybe I just felt it because this year started so different. New People influenced me and the environment made me to who I am. I am so happy here. Of course there are sad days too. But in general I am incredibly proud of myself. Proud about all the things I achieved. There were good experiences and bad ones. I learned from them and had the best time of my life. But the time went over so fast. And now when all this is like my second home I have to leave and I’ll miss not only the people and this place, I’ll miss the person they made out of me.

28 days. 4 weeks. 1 month. And then I am back in Germany. I have no idea how I should feel about it. The change scares me. It is like a new start again. I haven’t seen my family and friends in a very long time and they probably have changed, too. They kept on living their life and nothing will be the same as before I left. It already seems like I have lost some of them but it was probably meant to be like this. And this year feels like it opened my eyes that there is more out there than the things you are used to. There are new people, new places, new experiences waiting for me. I may just turn back to my hometown where I have lived for 15 years and I have seen the same faces and buildings everyday. But I think after I haven’t seen them in a year it is going to feel so different like something new. On the other hand I am probably going to fall back in some old habits, good as bad ones. I have to go back to my old school and I don’t feel ready for that at all. School here is so different and I like it much more. You may learn less academics but more about how to be and express yourself. I am another person here than I was in Germany before I left and I don’t want to be that old person again.  

Falls ihr das alles gelesen habt, wundert ihr euch jetzt erst einmal wahrscheinlich über die Danceshow. Und ich könnte hier jetzt einfach meine sechs Seiten Reflection einfügen, aber das möchte ich euch jetzt nicht auch noch antun, denn ich zweifle daran, dass das so spannend ist. Aber am Anfang des Monats hatten wir zum Abschluss unserer  Tanzklasse eine große Danceshow im Theater auf Salt Spring. Nach wochenlangem einstudieren und choreographieren von Tänzen ging es auf die Bühne. Ich habe jetzt schon so oft davon berichtet und es in meiner Reflection auseinander genommen, dass ich gar nicht mehr so recht weiß, was ich dazu sagen soll. Es war auf jeden Fall eine unvergessliche Erfahrung und ich hatte unglaublich viel Spaß. Schaut euch vielleicht einfach paar Bilder an: http://johncameron.ca/vibrance/ 

Dann habe ich mal wieder vergessen das Ganze auch hochzuladen, heute regnet es in Strömen, es sind nur noch 11 Tage, bis ich fliege. Mein letzer Schultag ist vorbei, von den ersten habe ich mich schon verabschiedet und ich habe das Gefühl, alles zu verlieren, was ich hier hatte. Aber hier sind noch einige Fotos der letzten Wochen. Das Wetter war zwischendurch unglaublich gut, ich habe mit Freunden in deren Garten gecampt, wir waren auf dem Markt,  Signe und ich sind gekayakt, waren auf Strandpartys und haben ein Kurzfilm für Spanisch gedreht, der so peinlich ist, dass ich den lieber nicht hochlade.

Und letztendlich noch paar Fotos vom Seniordance in der Schule, bei dem ich mich einfach reingeschlichen habe. Das Event war  war nämlich für Grade 11 und 12, aber weil ich Grade 1o bin durfte ich eigentlich nicht gehen, aber ich habe einige Freunde in Grade 11 und kannte den „Türsteher“, also bin ich einfach so reingekommen. Ich hatte richtig viel Spaß und das war es auf jeden Fall wert.